Here’s some insight Paul Tripp gives on understanding the biblical function of our hearts. He shares that the order of the questions must not be changed. You can change the verbiage but its important to walk through these question in the order given.
- What was going on? This question is designed to simply get a sense of what was going on. Don’t worry about biases. It’s impossible to recount something without biases. Your child does it. You do it.
- What were you thinking/feeling as it was happening? This question gets after the heart. You need to understand that no matter where you are, no matter what the situation is your heart is endless operating…you’re always interpreting, always worshipping, always desiring or wanting something.
- What did you do in response? This goes after words and behavior. With this question we’re teaching our children (and ourselves for that matter) that the behavior and words that came out in the situation were not formed by the situation but by how my heart reacted to the situation. This is very important!
- Why did you do it and what were you seeking to accomplish? This question gets after motives, goals, purposes, etc. What we’ve done is bracketed behavior with the thoughts and motives, interpretations, desires of the heart…Hebrews 4:12-13 – the heart is always thinking and always desiring. Your behavior is always the result of what you’re thinking and what you desire?
- What was the result? This question gets after consequences.
For more on this topic you can visit his resource page here.